Finding Neverland

Yesterday I received an e-mail from an old high school friend that another old friend died. Joel was the first bad boy I ever knew. When we were nine years old, we were assigned seats next to each other in the cafeteria, and two seemingly very different children became friends. He was a wild boy; I was a good little girl. He was smart but he hated worksheets, so he didn't do them; I worked hard to make all E's. He cussed; I was a teacher's pet. He passed around a homemade Playboy magazine in a pink folder and got suspended from the fourth grade ; I practiced my dance routine to "Up, Up and Away" for the school talent show.

Maybe our odd-couple friendship was based on the fact that we both came from terribly dysfunctional families, a fact I didn't realize until we were in high school. Or maybe it was just that we shared such an irreverent sense of humor. Whatever it was, we talked. A lot. We talked at lunch and later, when boys started calling girls in the sixth grade, we'd talk for hours on the phone. I have no memory of what we talked about, but he made me laugh, and, no matter how bad his reputation was, he was always sweet to me.

The first time he invited me to go to the fair with him in seventh grade, I realized he had a little bit of a crush on me. I wanted to go with him. I told him I would go, but I chickened out at the last minute. Girls like me just did not go places with bad boys like Joel. He didn't hold it against me, though. The next day at school he brought me a stuffed animal he'd won, and once a year, after that, he'd invite me to the fair, I'd turn him down, and the next day he'd bring me another stuffed animal. Until tenth grade. By then I'd started dating other boys and gotten all involved with prissy things like painting banners for football games and high school formals. Joel spent most of his time riding around smoking pot and trying to score harder stuff. When he transferred to another high school our senior year, I barely noticed.

After high school, I went to college. Joel didn't, and I never saw him again. My e-mail yesterday said that he'd died after a long battle with heroin addiction. In 1980 he was arrested for a simple assault charge and tried to hang himself in jail. The guards cut him down, but not until after he'd suffered brain damage. The next twenty years consisted of one halfway house after another and then finally a nursing home. And then he died.

It's surprising how much I remember about him after so long. I remember a small, skinny boy with shaggy dark blond hair, a grin, and a gleam in his eyes. I remember that he lent me his coat on cold days on the playground. I remember that, in sixth grade, we made a bet about who was taller and, when we were measured for graduation to junior high school, we were nearly the exact same size: 4' 11" tall. I weighed 68 pounds and Joel outweighed me at a whopping 74 pounds. I remember the raspy sound of his laugh when his voice changed. His eyes were green and his middle name was Alan. I remember his red suede Converse All-Stars, his flannel shirts, the shape of his eyebrows and that "Like A Rolling Stone" was his favorite song. I remember when we were studying Great Expectations in the ninth grade and he managed to wake up long enough to read the part of one of the thieves aloud with a ridiculous, hilarious Cockney accent. I remember Joel laughing.

A lot of people I've cared about have died. I feel worse about Joel than anyone else, except my father and a sixteen year old member of my cheerleading squad. Why do I remember Joel in such excruciating detail? I think it's because, even at the age of nine, our souls recognized each other, and we tried to take care of each other just a little bit. Joel didn't get to do what he was supposed to do in life. He didn't get something he needed to make him whole. Joel had goodness and joy in him. He just needed help bringing it out.

I wish he'd had a happier life. I wish he'd found hope. I wish I'd gone to the fair and eaten cotton candy and ridden the double ferris wheel with him just once.

Hope Is The Purple Goth Thing With Feathers

This collage is for Gothic Arch, and it's all about the harmony of art, love, and hope in my life. I used bubblewrap stamping in a complementary color scheme (Mixed Media Monday)and one of my favorite poems by Emily Dickenson "Hope Is the Thing With Feathers." (Craftaway Sunday).

Autumn Maiden Fair for Sunday Postcard Art

THE autumn comes, a maiden fair
In slenderness and grace,
With nodding rice-stems in her hair
And lilies in her face.
In flowers of grasses she is clad;
And as she moves along,
Birds greet her with their cooing glad
Like bracelets' tinkling song.
A diadem adorns the night
Of multitudinous stars;
Her silken robe is white moonlight,
Set free from cloudy bars;
And on her face (the radiant moon)
Bewitching smiles are shown:
She seems a slender maid, who soon
Will be a woman grown.
Over the rice-fields, laden plants
Are shivering to the breeze;
While in his brisk caresses dance
The blossomed-burdened trees;
He ruffles every lily-pond
Where blossoms kiss and part,
And stirs with lover's fancies fond
The young man's eager heart.

Kalisdasa

Step Outside Your Box Saturday

Since we didn't have a Collage Play challenge last week, I opened the new elements this morning with special eagerness, and my new collage was finished in about an hour, record time for me. The challenge today at Step Outside Your Box Saturdays is "Emotion" In today's post the host discusses letting your emotions lead you and how pieces often come together more easily and quickly when we work in what she calls a "manic" state. Usually it takes me almost an entire day to put a collage together, but today I not only completed this collage, I also altered my own collage. Last Monday, Mandy at Mandy's Magical World of Art, described a process she uses for making backgrounds with nail enamel, and I was dying to try it. So, for the Saturday's Workout today, I've altered my own collage. I think I like my original better, but the altered page was a lot of fun to make. It was my first attempt to use Mandy's method, and so maybe, with practice, I'll be able to refine this technique.

Self Portrait Created By Hand

I love it when the theme of an art challenge is relevent to my life experience like the "Numbers" challenge this week at Theme Thursday I've been math challenged all my life. I remember in the fourth grade, when my school started ability-grouping, I was the only person in my entire grade that was cross-grouped. I was "high" groups for language arts, science, and social studies and in the "middle" group for math. Even there, I still struggled to make respectable grades. In tenth grade, when I took geometry and made an A, I was sure that the grade was incorrect, since I hadn't made higher than a C in math since I was eleven. My teacher checked her gradebook, though, and assured me that I had indeed earned an A that semester. I later discovered that geometry is a "right-brained math." In eleventh grade chemistry, my teacher gave me a C because she said I was the only student in class who didn't cheat, and she didn't want to put a D on my permanent record. I will love her forever for that. Of course, it didn't hurt one bit that I did all of her bulletin boards. I can remember words, colors, even sounds, with great accuracy, but my brain will not hold onto numbers. I couldn't tell you the amount of our mortage payment, how much our usual electric bill is, or even a good price for ground beef. I've always accepted that I just wasn't great at math, and, although it frustrated me a little when I was in school, it never kept me from doing what I really wanted to do. My limitations may have even made me into an better teacher for students with disabilities.I always liked to think that having a void on the left side of my brain just freed up more space for the good stuff!

Collage Play with Ava

This past week Nancy, our host for Collage Play With Crowabout, was without Internet servce and unable to post the page of elements for our group. Since opening the elements every Saturday morning is the high point of of my weekend, I was deeply saddened. Sunday night, in a rare act of mercy, Ava decided to put me out of my misery and put together a page of elements for me to use as a substitute until Nancy gets back online. The nuns and moon pie Ava selected inspired and cheered me immensely all week long, as I thought about my collage. Crazy Amigo's and Creative Wednesdays' theme this week is "Butterflies," so I added these, the magazine banner, the cigar box coupon, and the shoes. I chose the black and white diamond pattern because the challenge this week at Wednesday Stampers "Patterns." Thank you, Ava. I owe you big time.

Madame Butterfly

The theme this week at Crazy Amigos is butterflies. I made this arch and the background over a month ago, and I've just been saving it for the perfect central image.

Hobby or Addiction? You Tell Me

Mixed Media Monday said to show what we love to do. Well....I wasn't going to tell you this, but the only reason I even stopped working on this card yesterday was because my husband came and pulled me out of my studio at 3:30 in the afternoon, after Ava tattled and told him I hadn't eaten anything yet and was still in my nightgown, and she was worried about my blood sugar. Thanks for nothing, BFF. (You know what they say about payback). I had only been working on the birthday card for my baby since 10:00 a.m., and I still had lots to do, but he said it was an intervention and that I couldn't even look back. I fooled them both, though. I came home from school before Ava did, and while Mr. Al was at the grocery store, I sneaked back up to my attic and tweaked my card just a little.

Sunday Three for One

On Sundays I like to spend the whole day in my studio collaging with Ava, and I enjoy tring to meet as many art challenges in one piece as I possibly can. It's just something I like to do to stretch myself. Since tomorrow is my youngest son Wesley's birthday, his card became part of the project today too. This week at Gothic Arches the theme is Favorite Movies. Since I'm such a movie lover, I don't have one favorite movie; I have one for just about every genre, but I do have a favorite movie title: "The Invisible Circus." Today the Sunday Postcard Art challenge is "Circuses." Originally, I'd planned to name my blog "The Invisible Circus," but I discovered an art group called "Embellished Circus," and I thought these names were too similar, so the blog became "Amusing Muses" instead. The clown image came from one of my vintage Burr McIntosh Monthy magazines and I hand colored it with Prismacolor pencils. I put him on a background of watercolor and acrylic sponging. I chose an elephant to remind my son of all the times we watched Dumbo togther. Every time poor little Dumbo was separated his mother and visited her in her cage, and she would hug him through the bars with her trunk, Wesley and I would cry and cry. We haven't watched Dumbo together in a long time, but I bet he remembers. Tomorrow Wesley turns twenty. Happy Birthday, Wes-man. I love you.

Mr. Alberta's Birthday Challenge

I wanted to tell you what a special 50th birthday I had, but I haven't had a single moment to sit down and write until now. Those silly girls Ava, Magenta, and Amaryllis had The T Minus Five Countdown, giving me a present day for the 5 days preceeding the big five oh. Then, on Tuesday, they baked me carrot cake iced with cream cheese cupcakes. Aren't they the best? When I got home from school Tuesday, Mr. Al sat down with me for a few minutes, like he usually does, to ask about my day. After hearing that I'd had a rough one and that my nose was just a little bit out of joint, he decided to go ahead and give me my present. On his way down to his office in the basement, He said, "Don't get too excited; it's really stupid." Well, I couldn't imagine why he would give me something stupid, so I decided to reserve judgement. When he came back upstairs, he handed me a legal manila envelope, and this is what was inside:



A COLLAGE! That he made himself! I don't know if you can see the details clearly, but it's made of snippets from travel brochures we picked up on our two trips to Charleston, South Carolina. This city reminds us so much New Orleans where we spent the first four years of our married life, and we enjoy everything about Charleston: the antiques, the gardens, the music, the history, the art, the food, and the romance! The birthday surprise includes a long weekend at Charleston Place, in October or November, whenever it gets a little cooler, and hours of eating, strolling, shopping, and looking at art. All of this was conveyed via collage and poem, and I was so surprised and touched that I just cried. I don't know what I ever did to make such a wonderful, thoughtful man love me, but I sure am glad I did it, whatever it was. I have to say that he was quite pleased with himself about the collage. He said that he's thinking about hosting an accounting art challenge blog, now that he's unleashed his hidden talent. I think he could do it! But, then, I'm his biggest fan right about now.

Here we are:


I haven't told you much about our sons (except that Andrew is a shark freak) but here they are: Andrew (left) and Wesley(right). Aren't they the most adorable things you've ever seen? Not that I'm prejudiced or anything.



We had a long, chatty dinner with them at R.L.S. Off the Square, our favorite Cajun restaurant in nearby Covington.

Andrew, who just turned 27, made my birthday even happier by announcing that he had applied for re-enrollment at the University of Georgia. He only lacks 16 hours toward an English degree. He's not sure what he'll do with that degree, but I think he would be a phenomenal high school English teacher. He sings; he dances; he plays the guitar; he juggles, and kids love him (go figure!)

Wesley will be 20 on Monday, and he's our family liberal, majoring in political science at Georgia State. Wesley's just a big, sweet, lovable can-do kind of guy and has been since he was 2 years old. He's the kind of person that inspires trust and makes everyone feel better just because he's in the room. While Andrew is a Fourth of July sparkler, Wesley is a candle glowing in the dark. To use a cliche: they are the absolute lights of my life.

I wanted to share my family birthday celebration with you, since we couldn't all have a party together in person and since so many of you sent me your warmest, kindest birthday wishes. Thank you so much for all you did to make my day special and for what you do every day. Here's to at least 50 more art-and-love-filled years.

Love, hugs, and dreams
Alberta

TGIF

Minimal anything is a challenge to me, as a true and devout subscriber to the theory that too much is never enough. But minimal art? That was a tough one, TGIF. I tried, though. These journal pages were made by painting the background with four layers of acrylic and creating a suede-like effect by removing some paint with stamps and a sponge. Then, I collaged on a few favorite images I'd saved. It's certainly not as busy as my usual stuff, but I like it, surprising enough. It's sort of restful, don't you think?

Lost In A Masquerade

Here's my entry for This Thursday "It's All About Masks" and my entry for Week 7 of Collage Play With Crowabout.

It's Alberta's birthday!

Yes, I know Alberta looks slightly deranged in this photo. But cut her some slack, she turns 30 today. I think. I could be confused. All I know is that I'm the younger sister; however, Alberta always gets the tiara and feather boa. Happy Birthday to her.

By the way, Alberta is slightly deranged, but in a good way, like Christmas trees.

Cleopatra After Her Makeover

Cleo felt the need to accessorize, so I added wings and a happy moon and did a little stamping.(see original version below) She's ready for her "Famous People" photo shoot at Mixed Media Monday, now, I think.

Gothic Arch Sunday Postcard Art

I made this as a combination entry for the "Time" challenge at Gothic Arches and Sunday Postcard Art where the challenge this week is "Flowers." I don't think I'm quite finished with it yet.

Alberta's tenuous grip on reality, or, Happy Birthday to her

Since I could never begin to enumerate the joys of having Alberta as a sister, let me just tell you a story that illustrates one reason I love her so much. When we were, oh, say, in our thirties, and our oldest children, Andrew and Emily, were still impressionable, I casually mentioned to Andrew about how,in college, his mother won a wet t-shirt contest. I waited for her hot denial, but instead Alberta looked at me vacantly and I had to finish telling this completely fabricated story.

Later I said, "Why didn't you tell Andrew the truth and shut me up?" Alberta hesitated a moment and then said, "Well...I thought maybe I was in a wet t-shirt contest and just forgot." I'd like to add here that Alberta is not the one who spent most of her college years in a haze. You would have thought so, though. One night she dreamed a neighbor, Big Lucy, was expecting, and congratulated her on her pregnancy the next day. Lucy looked at her with much the same vacant look.

Like I said, the inside of Alberta's head is a kaleidoscope of swirling colors and patterns. Thank goodness she shares it with all of us. I'm the luckiest sister in the entire world.

Creative Power

The challenge today at Saturday's Workout is to share your favorite technique. My favorite technique right now is to photocopy an image and handcolor it with Prismacolor pencils and then to collage it onto a watercolor/acrylic background. That's what I did here with the flamingo. Then I filled the page in with bits and pieces I had on my art table for Step Outside Your Box Saturdays "Scraps" challenge. On many of my journal pages I've used images from antique books, magazines, the internet, and even family photographs. Some days my mind is completely blank until I read a new challenge and other days, like today, I wake up with three or four ideas brewing. Very often I find inspiration in the work of another artist. I like the idea of an art journal, but I'm not very comfortable writing my own thoughts, so I search for a quote to express how I feel. I'm sure you've noticed that most of the quotes I use deal with themes of magic, hope, or creativity. I guess that's what art is all about for me: the healing power of the imagination.

King of Cats

Here's my entry for TGIF,"Open Challenge" Cute Card Thursday, "Cats & Dogs," and One Powerful Hour's "Fairy Tale Challenge." Now, I'll be honest, there's a good reason it only took me an hour, and I hope you don't think I cheated. I had already done this collage but never posted it here. Ava and I found a wonderful old copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales, and I used images from it to create this collage as part of my writing prompts for my Freshman English class. The quote is from Romeo and Juliet. I promise I will spend the rest of the hour cleaning my studio!

The Elephant in the Room

Last weekend Mr. Alberta cleaned out our basement which was full the furniture and boxes we moved from Mississippi last year when we sold his family's home. Now, Mr. Al is a liberal from waaaaay back, and many of the boxes were full of old newspapers and Time magazines hoarded from the Watergate era of the 1970's. Buried deep in one of the boxes, however, was Mr. Al's favorite childhood book called Cars, Trucks, and Trains. Knowing my penchant for old picture books, Mr. Al generously shared his treasure with me, asking only that I not cut the book up. So, I promised him that I would photocopy the pictures that I want to use, and that's where the wonderfully graphic speedometer image in this collage came from. The challenge this week This Thursday was to 'Raid My Stash," a challenge that I really enjoyed because, boy, do I EVER have a stash! I've been saving this lovely turbaned lady and penguin for just the right project, and the elephant is at least three months old.

For quite some time, Ava has encouraged me to try to show some of my work in a local coffee shop, and I've been working on a few pieces for that. Here's the first thing I finished; it's 12 X 12 mixed media collage on canvas. I just used my standard materials: acrylic,watercolor, gel pens, and highlighters. Please give me any suggestions that you think would help. I've never tried to show my work before, and I'm pretty nervous about putting myself out there!

Triple Threat: She's a Very Funky Girl

Here's my Pink and Green page for Created By Hand and my Bright and Bold entry for My Time to Create. Seems like almost every collage I make is bright and bold AND has some pink and green in it! This page originated as a challenge for Collage Play With Crowabout. If you're interested in joining this hilarious group and participating in the weekly challenges, click here.

Creative Therapy For A Little Insanity

This ATC is for two challenges: Creative Therapy's "What Talent Do You Wish You Had?" and Think Monday ATC Challenge "Dancing."

Sunday Postcard Art

The challenge this week at Sunday Postcard Art was to alter a real postcard. I didn't have a real postcard, so Ava went out and got one for me!!! I know exactly what she's up to. I see right through her. She really just wants me to owe her BIG TIME. What she doesn't know is: I already do. She's been my best friend for forty eight years and my all-time art muse. Enough, or I'll get all verklempt. Here's the original:




and here she is after her makeover:

My First Tutorial (Sort Of)

At Step Outside Your Box today the challenge is "Backgrounds" and at Saturday's Workout, it's "Tissues," so I thought I'd show you a method I use to make backgrounds using paint and tissue paper or napkins. I know it's not rocket science, but a few people have asked what medium I use for intensely colored backgrounds. So, here you go: I started with a page in my journal and gave it a good brushing with plain water. Then, I squirted acrylic paint directly onto the page and brushed it all over. I tried to let that dry naturally, but I got impatient and hurried along the process with a blowdryer.



Next, I went back, rewet the page, and started adding layers of watercolor. I did this until I was satisfied with the effect, and then, I let that dry. With this page, I used the same process for the pink and the turquoise backgounds.



Then, I brushed red and white striped tissue paper with the same pink acrylic paint, and, when it was dry, I used fancy scissors to cut out little tissue pieces, which I added as collage elements, along with a doily, paper roses, and antique bird and butterfly images. The Victorian girl came from one of the 1907 Burr Atlantic Monthly Magazines from my sweet father-in-law, Ira. I photocopied the vintage images to preserve the originals, and then handtinted the copies with Prismacolor pencils. Here's the end result, which I think I will use as a special Valentine for Mr. Al. He especially likes the collages I make using pictures from his father. so I can say that the valentine is from both of us. Ira would like that too.

Happy Birthday XLO05! TGIF

Today at Amusing Muses and at TGIF we're celebrating my mother's birthday, and this is the card I sent her. The inside says," The highest form of bliss is a certain amount of folly." Words to live by. If you don't know the infamous XLo05, please go back and read "The Spy Who Loved Me" (click on label below or see my June 9 post).

10 Things I Love About Mother:
1. She can recite The Prologue to The Canterbury Tales in Old English.
2. She can shoot a shotgun and sleeps with one under her bed.
3. She writes beautiful poetry.
4. She taught me that family is the most important thing in the world, to love books, and to always help those less fortunate than myself.
5. She told me and Ava the story of To Kill A Mockingbird at Pasquales' one night because we were too young to read it yet.
6. She has great legs.
7. She's the best English teacher I ever had.
8. She taught me to be independent and strong.
9. She's very athletic and plays a mean game of golf.
10. She's the hardest working woman in Silly Town.




Here are some of my favorite pictures of Mother:

La Sorciere

This journal page is an entry for two challenges: Theme Thursday's Halloween and This Thursday's All About Black. All the images, except the long-necked bird and black cat, are from vintage books or magazines. Halloween always makes me think of my mother, which is especially appropriate today, on the eve of her birthday. Every year, about a week before Halloween, my mother would start a spooky story, which she would only tell in nightly installments, usually by the light of a candle. She was (and is) most definitely a good witch!

"Eyes So Transparent That Through Them The Soul Is Seen."

Yesterday the Crazy Amigos created a messy monster! This is my entry for Wednesday Stamper challenge "Transparent Art." Like so many of you, I've always loved the art of Anahata Katkin and have wanted to attempt something similar to her style. I've been a little intimidated in the past because her art is so complex. A few weeks agao Suzan the Thrifty Collage Artist did a beautiful collage in Anahata's distinct style, and so, in the spirit of learning something new, I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Beauty Is Imperfection

Permission to be messy? Are you kidding? This was soooo liberating to a perfectionist like me. Today I had a break between school and a parent conference, and it had been a VERY stressful day, so what did I do? I checked my blog, of course, and the new challenge at Crazy Amigo and it was "Messy." So, I had an hour to spare and I decided to attempt the challenge with only what I had in my desk drawer and my classroom. You may think it strange, but I carry around an envelope of collage images. I had this Victorian girl from a vintage magazine my father-in-law gave me, and the roses came from a magazine in my classroom stash. I also had my art journal, which I always carry and in it were several prepared watercolor background pages. I altered the girl with Crayola crayons and a Bic pen. Then I scribbled all over the background and added some White Out using a Concentration game piece as a stamping tool.I made the caption on my computer and finished the whole shebang before the parent arrived. Stress over, challenge done, fingers dirty, and I'm happy!

Alter It

For the Arty Girlz challenge this week here's my prized Queen Of Mardi Gras lamp. It started life 18 years ago painted with Mallard ducks in my son's log cabin bedroom. Like everything else in my studio it is second-hand. If you'd like to see more photos of my studio, you can go to my Flickr account or see my May post.

Grace

This entry is for Mixed Media Monday's Nature Challenge and also for Collage Play With Crowabout. It also works for My Time To Craft Animal Antics. This is really more about redemption than nature. We make messes of our lives. Perhaps that is the nature of things. We try our best to be good people and to do the right thing, and, though we often succeed, we inevitably mess up. We hurt other people; we hurt ourselves. We succumb to weakness, to greed, to self-indulgence, to addiction. We try to fix things ourselves, but it seldom works for very long. My father told me once that he tried, unsuccessfully, for a long time, to fix his life. He thought that he had enough strength to overcome the addiction that cost him twenty five years of frustration, failure, and, eventually, his family. During those years he was a miserable, angry, explosive man. At some point it dawned on him that he could not repair himself. He told me that it was a huge blow to his ego to admit that he did not possess the strength of character to be the man he wanted to be. So he asked God to help him, and God did. Daddy found AA and a group of men that he sheepishly called his "support group." He spoke with great humility about being part of this group, but he was really very proud to belong.

Daddy never wanted to be a bad man. He always wanted to do the right thing, and he often did. But he hurt people; he ruined a marriage, and he alienated everyone who ever loved him. He struck fear to the hearts of two little girls who wanted just to adore him.

He got a second chance because he told God that he wasn't strong enough to fix his life all by himself. The last fifteen years of his life were the happiest. It wasn't easy for him, and he was never a perfect man, but during those years, he changed. I never again saw his anger. He was there whenever I needed him: for celebrations and for sad times. He was there for me when my husband had cancer, and he jumped in his truck to drive three hours, when he had leukemia himself, to pick my sons up at the hospital and comfort them. I could count on him, and his grandchildren adored him. He took them sailing and to the fair; he taught them about computers and Ham radios, and he bought them fireworks and Christmas trees. They were never afraid of him.

I don't know exactly whom or what I have faith in. I call it God, for lack of a deeper understanding. But I know my faith is unshakable. I believe in miracles because life has taught me to. My father could not do for himself what he knew he needed to do. He asked for help; he was redeemed and it was a miracle.